After spending a year working behind the counter of a busy sex shop, I feel like I’ve seen and heard it all. People from every walk of life come in asking questions, seeking answers, and exploring what turns them and their partners on. 

What I’ve realized is that desire isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. It’s a complex, beautiful mix of collaboration, fantasy, and going against the grain. I’ve helped women find their first vibrator, couples get their first set of handcuffs, and someone in their 50s explore butt plugs for the first time. 

In every case, people discover that the most essential thing in any sexual desire, whether it’s trying something new or sticking to what’s familiar, is comfort. Without it, even the most exciting new moves and accessories can feel awkward and unenjoyable.

What Makes Your BJ Easier and Better

When I learned about BEEJ’s mission to make blowjobs easier and tastier, I was intrigued. Not just because everyone wants to give a better blow job, but because in my experience, creating a sense of comfort and confidence is the key to making any sexual experience more enjoyable…especially acts that are notorious for being considered “one-sided pleasure”.

In this post, I want to focus on what is critical for all the people who’ve been called on to do “the job” of going down on a man. I’ve narrowed down four key factors that can help you focus on comfort and turn giving a blowjob into a pleasure-filled moment for both you and your man:

  1. Jaw and Neck Strain
  2. Dry Mouth
  3. Gag Reflex
  4. Taste

 Let’s dive in…or go down. 

Don’t Skip the Prep: Pre-Blowjob Comfort Tips 

Preparation is key when it comes to aiming for comfortable oral sex with your partner. Think of it as setting the stage for a performance where both of you are the audience and the main act.

Mindset Is Everything

  • Small Acts Have Big Meaning - John Gottman, a famous author and researcher of relationships, has said, “Successful long-term relationships are created through small words, small gestures, and small acts.” Giving a blowjob can seem like a trivial sex act, but at the end of the day, this small gesture can have big benefits to improving your relationship
  • Confidence Is Sexy - Being confident in what you’re doing makes the experience more exciting for both of you. Own it and put on whatever you want that makes YOU feel better. That could be sexy lingerie, or it could be a pair of socks and an oversized T-shirt. It’s essential to remember that, in the end, your partner should want you to be however you feel best.
  • Focus on Mutual Pleasure - Remember, this is about fun and connection, not obligation. When you enjoy it, your partner will feel it, and that’s part of the thrill. Your energy sets the tone. If you’re stressed or are thinking of it as a “task,” you’ll both feel it. Instead, find the best time when you can approach the act in a way where you can explore pleasure together. Breathing exercises or a fun cocktail can be the way to relax the mind and find the fun.

Hygiene and Safety

  • A quick shower, brushing your teeth, or rinsing can make a huge difference in comfort and confidence. A spritz of your favorite pheromone spray on you (or him) is recommended as well. Feeling fresh allows you to focus on pleasure without bodily disruption.

  • Condoms are great for reducing STI risk without taking away from the experience. They also add peace of mind so that you can relax. 

Communication Is Key

  • Talk about likes, dislikes, and boundaries before you start. Even a simple statement, like “I really love doing this, but sometimes my jaw gets tired,” opens the door for adjustments. Maybe he doesn’t actually need you to deepthroat to get maximum pleasure.

  • During the act, small check-ins, such as “Do you like that?” or playful moans and cues, can make the experience more interactive and enjoyable. Some of the biggest turn-ons for the guy are to hear that you’re enjoying it as much as he is.

 

happy couple that uses beej to improve the way they connect through oral sex

 

Overcoming Common Blowjob Discomfort

Even BJ pros encounter obstacles. Here’s how to handle the usual suspects that make giving a blowjob uncomfortable or awkward:

1. Dry Mouth

Dry mouth was my nemesis for a while, mainly because I like smoking weed to get in the mood. I’d start strong, but within a minute, my mouth would feel like the Sahara Desert. I finally edged out the discomfort when I made a conscious effort to find tools to help. I found that mouthwatering mints, flavored oils, and BJ gummies not only helped with moisture but also made the experience more playful. Little tricks like these turned the dreaded voices in my head into excitement and something I genuinely look forward to.

  • I’d skip smoking beforehand and even drinking alcohol. While they can help relax inhibitions and bring out your flirtatious side, both are common causes of dry mouth.

Order some BEEJ Oral Sex Candy: These delicious blowjob gummies us the power of the Spilanthes flower to help keep the mouth extra moist and add a sweet, playful twist to the act.

2. Jaw and Neck Strain

Extended blowjob sessions (I’m talking longer than 10-15 minutes) can quickly tire your jaw and neck, especially if you’re like me and deal with TMJ. Here are a few hacks that can save the day:

  • Supportive Pillows: Place a sex pillow under your upper back to relieve neck strain and avoid any quick jerks that can happen. The Liberator Sex Pillow or the Pillo by Dame are two of the best options I’ve seen out there.
  • Jaw Exercises: Strengthening your jaw ahead of time can prevent fatigue and pain by doing exercises like chin tucks.
  • Switch Positions Every Few Minutes: Alternating angles helps distribute strain and keeps the experience comfortable. See more about positions further down in this article.
  • BEEJ Edible Massage Oils: Glide, flavor, and fun in one. They add moisture, help with movement, making it easier to gobble down the dick in a super slick way. I was shocked by how much easier it was to take a larger size with something as simple as coconut oil. What I like most about this one is that you don’t feel like you’re eating globs of flavored lube that has processed or artificial ingredients. 

2. Gag Reflex

We’ve all experienced that terrible moment: the instinctive reflex that makes you think you’re about to ruin your fresh sheets with an unexpected gag. Most of the time, it doesn’t actually happen, but when it does, it can feel pretty discouraging. The truth is, having a sensitive gag reflex is very common and nothing to be embarrassed about.

Maybe it’s just me being my Type A Capricorn self, but I like to find practical solutions so I can enjoy giving oral without feeling anxious about gagging. Here are some tips that have helped people manage and even reduce that reflex:

  • Deep Breathing: Focus on relaxing your throat muscles and taking slow, steady breaths. This can help quiet your gag reflex and keep you calm during moments of increased depth.
  • Gradual Desensitization: Instead of rushing, you can gradually get more comfortable with deeper movement by slowly increasing the depth over time. Practice in small steps, and listen to your body. There’s no need to push beyond your comfort zone.
  • Specialized Products: There are products like Deep Suckers or gag reflex shields that can help reduce sensitivity and make deeper oral play more manageable. They’re designed to gently desensitize the area or provide a barrier, helping you build confidence and enjoy the experience more freely.

Remember, there’s no “right” way to handle your gag reflex. Everyone’s different, and the most important thing is to prioritize your comfort and safety throughout. With patience and some helpful tools, managing the gag reflex can become just another part of your pleasure journey.

4. Smell And Taste

Sometimes, the biggest turnoff isn’t the act itself but the natural scent or taste. The good news is that there are simple ways to make things more pleasant for both of you. 

  • Good hygiene for everyone is key. Confirm that he’s showered (in the last 12 hours) and do your part of brushing your teeth, using mouthwash, or rinsing with water right before oral sex. Avoiding foods like garlic, onions, or spicy dishes earlier in the day can help keep your natural smell fresh. 
  • Having him eat pineapple or drink pineapple juice a few days before can help make his ejaculate taste sweeter and more appealing. The science behind this is that pineapple and other fruits contain bromelain, an enzyme that breaks down proteins responsible for sour or bitter flavors, and their natural sugars boost sweetness. 
  • Finally, products like all-natural edible massage oil can enhance your partner's taste, but they won't entirely mask it. Plus, it comes in flavors that you actually want to taste, not the floral flavors of soaps or deodorants.

Remember, a little preparation and attention to your body can go a long way in making oral sex taste and smell better, helping everyone feel more comfortable and confident.



Blowjob Positions That Make Giving Feel Effortless

Positions really matter when it comes to giving a blow job, especially if you want to reduce strain and make the experience more enjoyable. The right angle and setup can turn what feels like work into a natural, pleasurable act. Here are some tried-and-true positions with fun names to help you find your groove:

1. The Trusting Tranquility

Your partner is sitting on a chair or on a couch with his legs spread open. Place a pillow at his feet where you can kneel comfortably. You can also use another sturdier sex pillow placed under your bottom and on top of your calves, so you have a little seat for yourself. The key here is to take the time to get as comfortable as possible on your knees before you begin. This will help you stay in the moment and not focus on the pain in your knees or the amount of strain you’re putting on your quads.

2. The Pillow Queen

Lie back on a sturdy, supportive sex pillow that elevates your head and shoulders. Your partner then straddles your mouth, moving in and out at their own pace. This setup takes a lot of the movement and effort off your neck and jaw, making it much easier to relax and enjoy the experience. 

However, because your partner controls the rhythm and force, clear communication is essential for discussing preferred speeds, depths, and pressures, ensuring the experience remains pleasurable and comfortable for both of you. It’s also helpful to agree on a discreet symbol or signal, such as a gentle pat or a tap of your hand, so that if anything becomes uncomfortable or too much, you can let your partner know without breaking the mood. This way, you both stay in sync, and the experience remains enjoyable for everyone involved.

3. Supportive Straddle

Your partner is lying on their back, and you’re straddling their legs. One of your feet is planted firmly on the bed, providing stability, while the other foot is tucked into a kneeling position for extra balance. You can place your hands on either side of your partner or on the bed for support. This stance offers you greater stability, making it easier to control the up-and-down motion and maintain comfort throughout. It’s a steady, empowering position that allows you to focus on giving pleasure with confidence.

Extra Tips to Make Blowjobs More Fun and Flirty

  • Mix Techniques: Alternate lips, tongue, and hands to keep it exciting.
  • Add Flavor: Flavored lubes and edible massage oils enhance taste and glide.
  • Eye Contact: Builds intimacy and makes the act more playful.
  • Take Breaks: Rest and reposition yourself to avoid feeling tired or out of breath.
  • Check-In: Simple feedback keeps it interactive and sexy